grrr arrghh...

...so it's just been that kinda day.  had the whole day to work and study and listen.  just found myself distracted and frustrated, not angry, just not able to get myself into any sort of space that seemed worth it.  maybe it's coming down off of a pretty full and rich study leave last week.  maybe it's the over-full-plated-ness of my life getting the best of me. maybe the enemy is just doing a particularly good job of getting me to be ineffective.  maybe it was just the rain and cold after such a beautiful day yesterday. however it was generated, there has been an increasingly dry, dull, and lethargic mood that has come over this day.  i don't like it.

so before you jump to another page because you don't want to listen to someone whine, stick around for just a minute or so, and let me flesh this out just a bit.  i think i've mentioned in this and a couple of other contexts, that i am trying to listen better during lent...to God especially, but also to my wife, my kids, friends, neighbors, situations, events; the whole of my experience each day.  the hope is that i would become a better disciple of Jesus Christ and would be able to bless those around me all the more because of that attention.

here's the thing, i think today did show me one thing.  the ability to listen is as much a gift as it is a discipline.  listening only works if there is something to hear.  that means when we listen, we do it so that we might receive something of worth that will allow us to be more what we should be in the midst of whatever situation we are in.  it isn't just the nuggets of wisdom or the insights or the beauty.  good listening also helps you hear in the silence, the chaos, the frustration that we face everyday.  today i should have been paying attention to what God was saying, or the family or those I got to interact with instead of listening for what i thought i ought to hear.  so today, i'm thankful for this blog because, even though it was after the fact, i still have a chance to pay attention to all of it instead of just the stuff that i think is worth it.

there's a bit of the dark night of the soul (st. john of the Cross) thing going on here.  more like a dark minute of the soul...but we'll save that for another time

thank God He gives us new mercies/compassions every morning

may you all being given the gift to listen well, and may you develop the discipline of listening better.

soli Deo gloria